Today my landlady came to hand out our rent charges. There's been an incredible increase. I felt my insides tighten when I saw how much I was going to pay this month. And I'm sure my housemates felt the same.

Now I'll be dishing out almost half my meager salary to pay for rent. Sigh. Life isn't getting any easier is it? But my current housing arrangement suits me so I can't even think of changing accommodation yet. I'll quietly pay the amount and keep my fingers crossed for next month's rent thrashing. Perhaps the shock of that might push me to find alternatives.

I haven't been well since last week. Yesterday I went out to get some more medication when my friend Naan called. She wanted us to hangout, she had a lot to tell me.

She's recently developed the hots for one of her work colleagues, BJ, an American. Office romance right there. And according to her BJ is strongly attracted to her too. You should have seen the stars in her eyes as she described their romantic escapades to me. Being a sucker for sweet kisses and fulfilling lovemaking, I didn't know whether to envy her or not.

I haven't had any romance since March but in my current recovery state I think romance has receded to the back of my consciousness. Let's see, perhaps when I'm fully recovered I'll bounce back to my usual wanton longings for a lover.

Anyways there was a hitch in Naan's story, Lover BJ is engaged to another girl whom he's crazy about just as much. All of a sudden Naan's story became a been-there-done-that one; although mine didn't fall in the office romance category.

In her case BJ has been honest right from the beginning, which is good. In mine I got to know after a number of romantic rendezvous. I was very annoyed and fell into a whole thought train of self reassessment full of many would I have done this had I known that thoughts. It just wasn't fair but that's what I got.

Anyways, our chit chat on romance got to that point where both of us realized we needed to find unattached dates.

In Naan's situation she was going to enjoy BJ while it lasted but in the mean time she had to have a companion of her own. It was unfair that on days when BJ was happily enjoying the delights of his fiancee she (Naan) will be seeped in the depths of loneliness longing for him the whole time. And most women know it is this state of mind that causes us to pester the guy with calls, texts, emails and attempts to keep his attention on us only. You start fighting for space in his life...a pastime that is completely damaging to any feminine ego.



As for me, my ex-date will be returning to Ghana in August and it will be a major disaster if he finds me still single. Naan and I agreed that he will think I haven't gotten over him and that I was actually waiting for him so we could link up again.

This will give him an ego boost and make him come after me again expecting to easily win back my affections. If this happens I will most certainly become an object of pity. A very pathetic situation in Naan's eyes...and mine too.

The only solution therefore was to have a guy in my life by the time he arrives. Then he would have competition even if he tried to reconnect, plus my romantic situation wouldn't look so pitiful. At least I would have a companion to cuddle with. No harm in that right?

Therefore our projection: Naan must hook up a date as soon as possible; I must have a date by the end of July. This means we will have to join forces and go hunting weekdays and weekends.

Now, I think I'm worse than desperate. Doomed is the word.

For Naan this is very easy, she is very attractive and most guys choose her over me anytime we are together. She only has to deal with how suitable the interested guy is.

There's no way I'm going to find a date by the end of July which begins tomorrow. I'm just not the type who hooks a guy easily and within a deadline. Guys do approach me but these occurrences are few and very far between. It's a brutal life I lead but what can I do? I can't force love can I?